Paper straws sounded perfect. They would help save the oceans and were biodegradable. All that, while feeling good about sipping coffee.
Let me explain what actually occurred when I opted to switch to zero waste straws for half a year.
The soggy reality set in quickly
The tryout period began with an iced coffee and paper straw, which faded 10 minutes into the experiment. The straw went from a grimace hunk of paste to a mushy mess. Instead of an eco-friendly experience, I was met with paper shreds in my drink and a broken straw.
Trying different brands didn’t help either. Every straw would put up the same fight. Halfway through, it would kick the bucket, only to be replaced with a spoon.
Last but not least, the taste change was just awful. Everything started tasting like paper; a true horror show. Imagine a morning latte that tastes of cardboard.
The problem depth increased with reusable straws
Can’t believe I thought upgrading to stainless steel straws would solve everything. For a hot beverage drinker, this was a catastrophe. I lost count of the times I burned my lip. Turns out stainless steel does a bang up job of heating as well.
Silicone was better for temperature maintenance but it became a hassle to clean. You have to get special brushes to properly clean the insides. If you miss a cleaning session, there’s disgusting stuff growing in there. I found moldy bits after a week of leaving it in my bag.
I didn't have to clean everything in sight, but instead I had to scrub everywhere literally and all the supplies in the world. Pack the straw. Pack the brush. Pack a small container for the used straw. My bag transformed into a portable dishwashing station.
Everything that made the removable straw great faded the moment I placed it in my bag
Needless to say, life as we know it does not work with reusable straws. Meeting a friend for coffee in between back-to-back meetings means you’re stuck with a used straw for hours. And even a mid-day coffee date gets complicated when you need to clean a straw without a proper bathroom.
More often than not, I simply forgot to grab the straw. He or she then gets stuck having to either get mocked endlessly for asking for no straw option or resigning to the plastic alternative. Plastic options regardless of a reusable were guilt filled.
Whether it was a mute or I masked myself with pink neon, turning heads were the servers that would gaze into the abyss while me and my Smoothie straw waited until the fool seemed finished.
The greenwashing narratives checked out as illogical
Once I began to feel annoyed, I did some research and found that paper straws actually produced 5 times the carbon emissions compared to plastic straws of the same weight. EPA even provides data on this.
Most paper straws have a plastic coating to prevent them from getting soggy too, which means straws end up in the same trash as plastic straws.
In most regions, there is no recycling for paper straws. They cannot be thrown in paper recycling due to being contaminated with food waste so the only options left are to either be incinerated or stored in a landfill.
Pricing became a matter of concern
Environment-friendly options cost a lot more, alongside branded paper straws being more expensive than plastic straws by 7 times. Businesses will have to price increase, which ultimately gets handed down to customers.
I bought a set of stainless steel straws for twenty dollars but lost two of them within a month. One of them I stepped on while the other is lost somewhere in my apartment. That's a terrible amount of money for a trial and error I guess.
Why I Returned to Using Plastic
While on a road trip, a drink mishap caused a sticky drink disaster all over my car. I had to stop on the side of the road to clean up the mess way more than I expected.
After this incident, the thought of straws made me realize that the environmental effort I was putting was minimal waste reduction was balancing a lot of practical problems that were ongoing and annoying. Whether it was spending energy dealing with managing straws.
I started wondering about whether the replacement of straws focused more on solving the problem rather than the solution.
Look at the bigger picture all you want
Instead of focusing on material-based switches, I started ordering drinks without straws because let’s face it, most drinks don't actually require them. This decision has made a way larger impact than material switches.
If I do happen to need a straw, plastic straws are my number one choice. They are easy and reliable. No carrying special equipment or extra gear around the town is needed, no special cleaning is required, and best of all, no soggy breakdown.
The zero-waste movement has good intentions but sometimes the alternatives aren't actually better. Paper straws, for instance, serve more of a ‘feeling’ purpose as replacing words with actions does not equal change.